Its been a long long time

9 and1/2 months. That's how long it has been since I wrote in here. I lost interest after August 24, 2008 -- not just in this blog but in Life, generally. I was just 'stuck' in a moment - that moment seemed like that was the end. I wanted to end everything - -right there. On 24th August. I was hoping something terrible and ghastly would happen to me. And it did. While I kept casually wishing I were dead, one humid evening in the city while i picked up thai food for dinner, I was knocked down by a car with some seedy chap driving it. Oh yes, motivated crime no doubt , sexual harassment on the street. I got knocked down and my leg got caught underneath one of the wheels. I screamed for help and passersby merely looked on. That's India see. Men love watching a woman getting mowed down. It gives them, a strange sexual high. I got away with a minor fracture and an emotional dent. I was sick with my life, my job and everything. I quit and moved back to my hometown. I went off on a vacation to Europe all by myself ( that was safer than traveling in india anytime during the day) and now i am waiting to head out of this godforsaken country for good.

PS: A big hey if anyone missed me!

Long interludes

This blog has become more of a guest column. Anyway nobody reads it so what. Well its 2:45 am early sunday morning, and i am watching lawrence of arabia and writing this guest column. Well, life has been bad, I have been very depressed with work. I still continue to hate my work place and with alternatives in my life, I just have to stick to this goddam job. I wanna get a job where all I have to do is watch hollywood classics. Is there a job like that? I wonder.

Long time since

Its been half a month since I wrote but my blog is so popular, I was so missed. Anyway, I went off on a brief vacay. Sad part is I am back to the grind now.

Weekend starters

Back on the weekend. How I wait for weekends. Workplace keeps getting worse. Lets not even talk about that. The good things that have happened, I finished 2 books int the last 2 weeks. NOw i have started on a third one. I like reading very much.

I am not so glad about my mom landing up tomorrow. She will stay with me for 2 weeks and I dont like it at all. My house is my space- for me. I dont want her intruding on my space. And there is not much place in my house to accomodate another person.

I so wanna write ...but I guess my mind is too fucked and tired. I love this blog. If somebody really reads it, bless your soul!

A millionairess has her problems too

I am officially in the millionaire club now. But with my increments and bonus, the whole office is taking my trip on my promotion. Even the partner didnt spare me from his rude comments. I feel sad and depressed at all this and the ironic thing is, even all the money doesnt make me feel good at the end of the day. I just HATE HATE HATE the place and if i had an israeli made machine gun I'd kill em all. I really would. And i would not eel the slightest remorse. Of course I would go into confession later. So that should be good enough.

I am almost done with Graham Greene's The Honorary Consul. He portrays the comedy in the decadence of the human soul which he does best. I am going to pick up atonement once again. I found the book so boring but i really do not want to watch the movie before finishing the book.

Its been a long time...

...since I wrote. 8 days in fact. Ever since my promotion. Well, its not been very great at work even after the promotion. Lots of co-workers dont like (just like that) and they feel I dont really deserve the promotion. Okay, so be it, maybe I dont. But I didnt ask for the promotion - nor did I influence my bosses in anyway for that matter. I, in fact avoid them totally, and almost detest them. Anyway, the firm I work in is such a Losersville that I really dont care. I am looking for other jobs, but I really do want to get married to a rich guy and settle down. The petty politics at work are so not worth it.

I have been reading Graham Greene's 'The Honorary Consul' and its been great. Graham Greene is my favourite author.

Its been a depressing week. But the book keeps me going. I have some good movies to watch this weekend. Hope everyone has a good weekend.

A promotion

I couldnt believe it. I had my performance evaluation at work today and I was expecting a very low score. I had even thought of quitting, but then I get promoted!!! I am like - - whaahaat??? Yeah my elation is also tempered by the huge responsibilities and all the knowledge i would be expected to possess now. Promotion may be a good brag but actually, not so pleasant.

I really had made alternate plans - -like going off to Auroville for 3 months and living the rustic life. I think I am destined for a conventional life only. Boring, mundane and full of drudgery work

On the other hand,

If I had lost my job, I'd have lost my income and then no money and more dependency on others.

Long live Topol'esque soliloquy.